The other week I was looking through old pictures of me and I stumbled upon one that caught my eye and not in a good way. It was taken on Thanksgiving Day 2012, I almost didn’t even recognize myself. I was pale, frail and looked like I had just come out of a concentration camp, no seriously, I did. I remember weighing myself at my moms house and being under 100 pounds and to be honest my mom freaked out. I didn’t really want to hear it. I didn’t have a eating disorder, I was eating my usual diet, I was also breastfeeding my 8 month old son full time which burns more calories but besides the point I had a lot of people concerned about me back then and I was frankly pissed because all I kept hearing was “You have a eating disorder” When that wasn’t what anyone was really telling me but that’s all I was hearing that’s all I could focus on, was that they were saying I had a disease and I DIDN’T. Flash forward less than a year later I looked completely different. I found a picture 10 months later and I look like a different person. What was different??
My emotional health and my physical health. I wasn’t in a good spot mentally or emotionally the last part of 2012 I was stressed out, burned out and didn’t take ANY time for me to name a few. I was so focused on 3 kids and my husband I forgot I even existed, I really truly did. I let myself go and it wasn’t good. At that spot in life, yes we were organic healthy eaters but we weren’t gluten free yet. Thanksgiving week 2012 was when Piper started getting really sick and when we discovered she had Celiac’s we also became primarily Paleo. I attribute a lot of that next step to my physical health but mostly I had a moment of clarity with a friend who basically hit me over the head with a cinder block woke me up to the fact that I need to take time for ME. I know that sounds silly but it’s so true and I am so thankful for friends like that.
MAMA YOU NEED A BREAK!
You need to go away by yourself and find YOURSELF you are still a person you are not just a mom and not just a wife. I was still Meghan but I didn’t know who I was anymore, my identity became the label of mom and wife and I felt like the worst person on the planet if I needed to even go take a long bath and get out for a bit. I just stopped asking ( I didn’t stop bathing don’t worry haha) I had a bit of a prideful attitude towards moms that went out by themselves without the kids like they were abandoning their job, but you know what they were happy and healthy emotionally, I finally decided that I needed to find me again so I did. I started asking for help. My husband started traveling for work full time and was out of the state most of the time so I was a single mom basically for 6 months, I had good practice at asking for help from others. Even if it was just to have someone come over and sit on my couch and talk to me for a few hours it was so good for me.
So do you need a break? here are some of my tips for finding rest.
1. Have a quiet time– You need to be with Jesus, even if you just lay your Bible on the kitchen counter and read a verse as you walk by during the say sometimes that’s all I get but it’s something!
2. Get out– Go sit at a coffee shop by yourself with a book, or even better go out with a friend, it’s so refreshing for your soul
3. Make sure you are EATING! I am so guilty of this, sometimes it will be noon and I will realize I forgot to eat breakfast we get so consumed with the day to day stuff we put ourselves on the back burner you need to eat every single meal and snack. I started making smoothies in the morning because I usually don’t get a chance to sit down and eat.
4. Find yourself. What did you like to do before you were a wife or a mom? Go do those things! You are still you and let it flourish your kids will love it! I ran a 5K in December my very first one, I did something big FOR ME I had never done before and it was so much fun
5. Work out. You need to exercise- Go run, do yoga do something trust me it helps!
6. Ask for help– Trust me on this, I know it is like the most humbling thing on the planet to ask for help and kicks your pride in the gut but you need to do it. Swap watching kids with a friend so you can go out and go grocery shopping alone or just wander around target, your friend may need that break too!
So where am I at now? Well, I am still tiny and thin but that’s just me. I am at my normal weight of 105 pounds and I feel better then ever, because I am daily finding myself again. I am a mom and I love it more then anything, I am a wife and it’s the greatest thing on earth but I am also Meghan a super fun awesome person who loves to love people and be stupid and silly and she’s a pretty awesome person!
So take time for yourself this week, I’m getting my nose pierced in the coming weeks!!